Hey Guru,
I am 24 year old from Nagpur and in love with a girl of my age. She however is in a relationship with another boy. She has clearly said this to me many times that she doesnt love me and we have no future together. Whenever she tells me this i take a step back and tell her that i will stop communicating with her, she starts behaving weird and calling me back to back. She says she cant see me go away from her life. She gets jealous if i talk to other girls. We even dirty chat sometimes for whole night when SHE is in the mood. She can be rude if i initiate it. She gets my hopes high and then crushes it later. After talking intimate she says it was all in masti last night. She is making me go crazy Guru. Please help, i am the only son of my Parents and i am ignoring my life for her !
Prakash,
Nagpur. ( Name Changed )
My brother Prakash,
I feel your pain. And there is a good news for you and a bad news for you.
I always take pain head on, so lets start with the bad news.
You dont love her ( this is also good news btw ). Initially you were attracted to her. She reciprocated. You had access to her and you told her about your feelings. Now your mind told you , You are in love for real ! Now add insult to the injury, she is playing cat -string with you.
Now let me tell you a bit about cat-string theory. Please read following very carefully.
Cat-String is a theory used in dating where you sometimes be available, sometimes dont. Sometimes you shower the person with a lot of attention, sometime you behave indifferent. Sometimes you reciprocate to her/his feelings, sometimes you say its all meaningless.
Theory says it works more if used on women by men. But i believe it works both the ways. The funny part is most women are wired with this technique. Naturally.
So here is the bad news. You have bluffed yourself that you are madly in love with her because of this cat string theory. And it is going to take some work on your part to get your life back.
Here is the good news. You can get out of this. Its possible and relatively easy if you get what i will say.
First and foremost realize your friend is a selfish person. She is self centered person. She wants to have her cake and eat it too ! She knows you suffer because of her. She knows you can heal if you go away but she has nothing to do with you. Its all about her. She feels important with you. She feels relevant with an admirer like you. She boasts about her admirers to her friends and portrays you as a bechara with her girlfriends. She cant care less if your life is getting screwed or not.
I personally can never fall for such a shallow person. You are never going to get True love from this person. But yes, you can turn the tables. You play the bigger Cat String Game. A Game that Guru taught you. Teach her a lesson ( not physical harm or hurting her too bad ). Just plain telling her how it feels to be emotionally used. If you dare use this to exploit her physically i will find you and get you behind bars.
So do this :
1. Avoid communication with her for a week. But reply to her messages with 'yes' 'no' , 'busy' 'call you later'. Reply 15 -20 minutes after the messages.
2. After a week, call her and tell her to meet you at a coffee shop / restaurant. Tell her you were busy ( it should be a DHV storytelling ).
3. Get a bouquet for her .Make her feel special in the first 15 minutes or so. Then in between tell her about this girl you met and how she has swept you off her feet. Tell her that this new girl is the hottest women alive. Act distracted. Tell a friend to keep on messaging you. tell him to have a very hot girl's DP. Then after a while your guy friend who is pretending to be this new hot girl will call you. you will go out of the restaurant couple of times pretending to take her calls. Pretend that you are a little disturbed. She will ask what happened, why disturbed ? Say the new hot girl doesnt like me being with you and also the fact that i gave you a bouquet. The new hot girl is coming here to fight with me. Go out the third time pretending to take her call. Now when you come back say that you are sorry but you have to leave. ( cherish the expression on her face ). She might say even she will leave with you, but you say you dont have the time , give her the cash to settle the bill, take the bouquet from her and run away. Before leaving tell her the new hot girl has ordered you to meet her now. Say that the new hot girl wants this same bouquet only. Remember after the third call when you go out, everything has to be done very fast, as if panicking.
4. Dont call her for 3 weeks. Dont respond to her to text. Block her on whatsapp. Dont pick her calls.
5. In those three weeks, join a gym, take up a job, make new friends, focus on your career. Join a public speaking class, improve your social circle. Invest time in Self affirmations. Do anything or all of these, but keep improving. Always take a step forward in life.
After all this, you would have moved on.
Then months later tell her that your new relationship didnt work out but you have moved on. Dont entertain her much. Dont fall in her trap again. Dont waste your precious time getting used.
All the best. Any queries in between feel free to email me at the email address mentioned in my first post .
You are a beautiful person. you deserve to be loved, not used.
Regards,
Guru.
